The end of a relationship is always tough to handle, but tougher still is to be the one to go through the process that is known as being dumped. There are numerous reasons for a relationship to end. But all the reasons in the world won’t help to show you how to get through the pain of getting dumped. If you have never been dumped, the chances are you will be. But have no fear, it is all a part of love and life. You find ways to move on, of getting over being dumped and on with your life. After being broken up with, there are several emotions that you may feel. Some of these emotions are healthy ways to deal with the genuine and heartfelt pain that is a broken relationship. Some of these emotions are not so healthy and want to be avoided at all costs. Three of the main emotions that are usually felt by a person who is on the receiving end of a break up are anger, sadness, and self-doubt. The emotions are difficult, but what sets you on the path to recovery is the way to start responding to getting dumped and the emotions that go along with it.
Anger might possibly be the swiftest most readily available emotion that a boyfriend or girlfriend will react to when they are being broken up with. A sense of “You can’t dump me!” is felt and it is extremely easy to fall into the trap of becoming enraged. It is definitely natural to feel angry after you have invested so much into a relationship and it is falling apart before your eyes. The thing that is not natural is being so angry that you hurt someone in violence in your rage. Advice for severe emotions like this are to take a break from the issues and take some time to gain a cool head before continuing. If you have any hope of working things out with the person or of moving on to lead a normal, healthy, and happy life, anger is not the right emotion to feed. Though it is difficult sometimes to gain control over such a volatile emotion, control is a necessity to be able to keep one’s composure. Remember, the more obviously angry you are, the more control over your emotions the other person has over you. That is the very last thing that you want to happen. If you need to vent, there are many getting dumped chat rooms on the internet that you can go to. Also, there are support groups that help you move on with your life.
Another very common emotion to experience when on the receiving end of a broken relationship is sadness or grief. Along with the anger, instead of the anger, or perhaps after the anger comes grief. You feel as if something you have nurtured has died. Grief is a way for us to mourn the loss of something that has become very special to us that is now over. As with anger, grief is another very natural thing to be feeling after separating from a loved one, especially in the case of a long-term, serious relationship. More unnatural than feeling grief would be to feel no grief at all. While in small manageable doses grief is often necessary to move on, if possible, avoid overwhelming grief. In these cases, such grief that you feel like you can not live without the person is obviously unhealthy, bordering on codependency. A great way to beat this sort of feeling is to understand and help yourself become a decent, intelligent, strong person that can make it on his or her own. This involves getting to know yourself extensively, hopefully before you are in a relationship. Having a friend that has gone through this before help you with your feelings and can also show you how to deal with getting dumped.
One thing that goes hand-in-hand with co-dependency is another common break up emotion, self-doubt. Like anger and sadness, these are natural, normal emotions that may be felt after the loss of a relationship with someone you care deeply about. The reason co-dependency goes hand-in-hand with self-doubt is because you lack the self-confidence to know that you are able to handle life by yourself and on your own, when the situation calls for it. A good way to get rid of self-doubt is to do positive reinforcement. Thinking positively is very underrated and can be very powerful when used to boost self-confidence. If you have low self-esteem, and you project that feeling, this is yet another area of your life and relationship that can give the lion’s share of the control of the relationship to the person who will take up the reins. In other words, if the person knows that you will be a pushover, it makes it easier to push you into being dependent. Being in this type of position is a very uncomfortable and unhealthy place to be. The only person that should have control over the person’s actions is that person him or herself.
There are a myriad of other emotions that are very common in the situation of two very close people in a relationship breaking up. Experiencing these emotions is not bad if you handle the feelings in the right way. Handling them in the wrong way, or allowing them to take over is a bad way to end a relationship. Unfortunately I can only speak from the perspective of women getting dumped. Fortunately as humans this advice can help you with a bad break up. The best thing for both parties is for the break up to be handled in a calm and collected manor. If this is not the case, scenes tend to turn very ugly very quickly. Rule your emotions, don’t let your emotions rule you after getting dumped.
On the other hand, if you haven’t been dumped yet and are instead worried about your spouse considering ending the relationship due to infidelity, visit Are You Cheating to learn more about what you can do.
One very important thing to remember is that you will love again. Do not consider this the end. You may feel like it now, but there will be a special someone out there for you. The task ahead of you is to heal and become a person that can contribute to another relationship someday – a healthy relationship. When you do find that special someone, get to know each other and look for date ideas that will strengthen your bond and bring you closer in your relationship. The ultimate goal is happiness.