Natalie

I started working for a magazine company on Feb 6, 2002 just 3 day after my 20th birthday. I had just moved to San Louis Obispo to start school, but I didn't start until April. At the time I was working at this company completely bored out of my mind. So when I saw the add in the paper for "TRAVEL, RESORTS, & $$$" how could I resist it. I called and talked the recruiter Jason and he said come down and we can do an interview, so I went down there and sat and talked to Jason for awhile, everything he said excited me, from what we would be doing, to where we would be going it helped that he was extremely attractive to. He told me to call back @ 4 to see if I was hired or not, he had about 50 applicants that he said he had seen that day. As soon as I got home I called my mom and told her all about it, she did not want me to go, little did she know I had quit my job that day, she said to look into it before I went and to call her after I found out she was very iffy about it. I said I would look into it and talk to her later. I called Jason @ 4, and he asked me if I was hired could I leave tonight? I told him yes, and he said good, because we go to San Francisco for two weeks of training in a hour. All I could think of was oh my god I got the job, I honestly didn't really think I would get it. So I called my mom and told her and she was not happy, she didn't like that I was just leaving like this and she didn't like that it was such short notice. I told her everything would be fine and I would call her when I got there and basically hung up the phone. I had to pack. I was under the impression that I was only going to be gone for two weeks. So I didn't really pack all that much just the things I thought I would need. I figured I'd be back after the training and I could get more if I decided it was for me. After I was packed I told my roommate Ryan that where I was going and what I was doing he was excited and thought the job would be cool. I left saying I'd see him in two weeks. Next I went to my other roommate's work My Best Friend Kristin and told her where I was going, she was shocked but supportive of it I told her I had to go meet Jason @ this motel in like 10 minutes so I had to go. I gave her a hug and drove over to the motel. Jason was already ready to go, right before we left Kristin showed up in tears begging me not to leave, she said she had a bad feeling about this and that I shouldn't go. I told her everything would be fine. At this point nothing that any one would have said would have made me stay.

It took us 6 hours but we finally arrived @ Holiday Inn, when I got there it was great there were kids everywhere and all I could think of was how fun this was going to be. I got introduced to my roommate, and everyone else and down to the bar we went. We all came back up after the bar and were pretty drunk all of us. Jason asked me back to his room to watch a movie, I figured he was pretty nice so why not. I went and all he tried to do was get on me while his friend watched. Well I wasn't going for it and he figured it out, so he let me be, I fell asleep in there room that night, and that's forbidden for the first two weeks considering no one can touch you during that time period. I got up the next morning got dressed and went down w/ everyone else, it was like this huge pep rally @ 8 in the morning we had this spiel that we had to do it was the strangest thing I had ever seen. But it did get you pumped up in the morning. Everyone got there quota's and we were off for the day. The first day I was in training and the first door I went to was w/ one of the girls, it looked pretty simple @ first considering we sold one at the first door but after a couple more house's I didn't know if I liked it. Imp one of those people who hate sales people and all I could think of was how much we were bothering people. Plus these girls were so mean to people that said no, and I knew I couldn't be that way, after all it was there door we were knocking on. But I figured I cant give up this easily just stick out your two week and go from there. My second day I sold my first sale it was such a cool feeling. And after that I just kept getting better 2 then 4 then 6 then 9 then 14 then 16 and so on. I was doing better then have of the other agents there and I was new. My boss was so proud of me. Yet I wasn't having any fun doing it. I was scared at half the neighborhoods I was in. ( people would drive me out of there neighborhoods and tell me this is not a safe place for you, and then wait for my car-handler to get back which wouldn't be for hours sometimes) About a week into this I knew I could do more w/ my life and I knew I wanted to go home I started to tell people about what I was thinking and before I knew it two of the car handler were at my door talking me into staying. One in particular told me that he liked me from the beginning and that the only reason he hadn't pursued anything was because of the two week thing. They took me to dinner that night and got me completely drunk, they gave me pills which they said would make me feel better, since I was getting sick. Know that I look back on it I don't think they were vitamins because to this day I can only remember bits and pieces of what happen next. I hadn't talked to my parents in I don't even know how long, I had my cell phone and I had like 9 new messages every day, but after working 12 hours and coming home and being made to basically go out and party w/ everyone all night (we weren't aloud to stay in our rooms by ourselves we get in trouble) I was to weak and exhausted to call any one back. My parents were so worried. Danielle, The car handler that liked me had gone to my boss and told him I was thinking of leaving, my boss told him to take me under his wing and do whatever it takes to make her stay. He didn't want to lose me w/ how much money I was making for him. I always got all cash on my sales to hardly any checks and that was a good thing. So Danielle started taking me out to dinner, buying me stuff, flowers, not making me go on the last drop and going out for a drink. ( I found out later that was a normal thing, keeping the new girls in the car, for the mere pleasure of the car handlers). Me and Danielle started hanging out more and more. I thought he was cute and all but he was 32 I was 20 so he was just sort of someone to talk to and depend on so I thought. I mean I connected w/ other people like the two other new girls Keegan and Stephanie, who both left and I still talk to. Danielle called my mom and kind of eased her mind, but he's a professional sales person he tells you what you want to hear. He promised my mom that I would call her all the time, that she would get sick of me calling I would call her so much. He told her all kinds of lies that I found out later. I did call my mom all the time after that, but whenever I did use the phone one of them was right there listening to me. Whenever I did anything some one was right there watching my every move.

On Feb 12, 2002 Danielle called me into his room, and I went ya know cause he was my boss he said he wanted to talk to me. Him and parks were in there and they told me to go get dressed we were going out. I told them I was tired and wanted to sleep, they said come on your going the big boss is in town. So I went. And got incredibly drunk that night. I remember taking something but I don't know what it was, they gave it to me. I wasn't thinking. That night I could barely walk to my room so they took me to there's. Danielle picked me up and put me on his bed, turned off the lights and turned on the TV. He started kissing me and I let him for awhile and then he started to take it to far, I pushed him away and told him to stop and he did for awhile and then tried again. I did the same thing. So he stopped and then tried again. By this time I'm half asleep and can hardly move. He tried again this time w/ more force he was on top of me and I was telling him no but he wasn't listening, I remember feeling him inside and trying to push him of but I couldn't he was to strong for me. I kept telling him no but he didn't listen. I didn't have the energy to keep fighting I was exhausted and out of it from everything. I gave up, and I hate myself for that, not being able to be strong enough to stop him mentally and physically. So there it was I had just been raped by someone I trusted while the guy that hired me was asleep in the next bed. I had just lost my virginity to a 32 year old man by no choice of my own.

The next day every one acted normal like nothing had happened. I didn't make one sale that day, I couldn't think, eat, or sleep. I wanted out but didn't know how to get out. Danielle noticed a change in me, and since I was in his car every day kept me in after everyone else took my hand and asked me if I regretted the night before. I lost it then, I was crying and yelling and telling him how can I regret something that I didn't have any say in doing. That's not fair. He told me he was sorry and he loved me. I believed him. He started to take me out all the time. Buy magazines from me if I was having a bad day to make my quota. He would take me shopping w/ him and just be nice to me. I felt it was all I had and I had no idea what I should be thinking I mean this was the first guy I had ever slept w/ I had an emotional attachment to this man whether I wanted it or not. He made me promise I wouldn't leave and would talk about how we would grow old together.

The next day we went out like normal, I was in a good mood and I was making my sales again. I had gotten about 16 sales on the day and was waiting like normal to get picked up we had recruited a new girl from her house in San Fran. the day before and she was in the car. I was the last one to get picked up so I sat next to her and talked to her about if she liked it while Danielle yelled at everyone who was in whaleshit ( the back seat). She said she liked it and we talked as we drove home. That night I was watching a movie in Danielle's room w/ him and Lizzy. When my boss came to the door and said Natalie threes a cop outside and has asking for you. I was like shit I had gotten in trouble w/ the cops earlier that day and had lied to him so I was like shit. My boss said to get rid of him so I walked over to the cop and asked him what's wrong. He said are you Natalie? I was like yeah. He said you have a missing person report out on you. I was like no I don't my parents know where I am, and are in Borrego this weekend I just talked to my mom the other day. He was like no, your parents are right around the corner. I was like no there not. He told me to sit and wait so I did. As it turns out the new girl had called a missing persons report out on herself because she was scared and thought she couldn't leave and he had somehow mistaken her name w/ mine because my mom was there and she was hiding in the bushes "trying" to spy on us (gotta love her) so when the cop drove up, she thought he was there for her, and told him she was looking for me. So when he came over he just got me and the new girl confused. My mom and uncle and come that night to take me out to dinner. My boss said I could go and me drove around the airport a few times and finally went to dennys. @ dennys my mom said that I was going home w/ her the next day and that she didn't want me there anymore, I was too tired to fight it so I just said whatever. She also told me that as soon as the cop came over to where we were the guy that had hired me and the "big" boss had run and hopped the fence and went to hotel next door kinda weird don't you think.

So I stayed in my moms room that night, went down and got my stuff and told my roommate keegan that I was leaving. She was sad and I told her that if she wanted to come w/ us we were leaving in the morning and she could come. She was hired the day after I was, and lived in the next town over. She said no, so I gave her a hug told everyone good bye. All the bosses and car-handlers were gone so I went into Danielle's room and left him note saying I was leaving and sorry I didn't get to say goodbye. Then I left. We got a call at about 5:30a.m. It was keegan she wanted to leave so my uncle went down and got and she came up and slept in my moms room. We waited until after morning meeting and everyone was gone before we went back down and got the rest of my stuff. My boss owed me money from what was called my "expense account" that I no access to. I knew he was in his office, but he did not answer the door, so I called and they answered but said he wasn't there and that he would call me back. He never did. I never saw that money. I worked like a slave for those people and they treat you like shit, when you leave.

Well now I am home again, and have found out that they all have police records, they are all liars, they stole money out of my bank account that I cant get back, they talked nothing but shit about me when I left, and they or one in general took something from me that I can never get back, they drugged you, told you what to do, controlled you and took away your freedom. Its a colt basically. Yet I don't hate these people and I wonder Why??? I even miss Danielle sometimes and wonder what it would be like if I was still there. Why??

I had a bad experience selling magazines and I know I would never do it again. After Keegan and I left about 5-6 weeks later about 5 more people left. Everyone they had hired in CA. is no longer working for them. All this happen to me in a matter of three week. I can only imagine what would have gone on if I would have left the state w/ these people. If I ever would have returned. We finally had to change my cell # and my home # because Danielle was calling me all the time and asking me to come back and telling me that he love me. It took me awhile and I'm still working on realizing that all he did was lie to me, he never truly cared, He's a pro. and all he was doing was doing whatever it took to make me stay. I still haven't thanked my mom and my uncle for what they did. I don't know how to. There is nothing that I can say or do to express the thanks I feel for getting me out of there. I just hope she knows that I am eternally grateful for what she did. SHE SAVED MY LIFE!!! I hope this helps at least one person not to join a magazine crew, cause even if just one person reads this and doesn't join then I know it was worth writing.