New Stories 2004

J

I joined the crew to get away from my home life. ( I didn't relize how good I had it) The crew I was in was tight, if we didn't sell enough we got in big trouble. It seemed to me that we were always changing boyfriends and girlfriends. Working 6 days a week, from 7am to 8pm. Only getting $15 dollars a day to eat with. alot of bad stuff happened on mag crew to much to go into. I left in the middle of the night. didn't look back. I wonder about some of my friends sometimes. Now I am a married mother of 2, who is blessed to be able to stay home. These kids come knocking on my door and I try to slip them $10 bucks and I tell them to call home.

R

I was 18 yrs old and was sick of being at home and listening to my parents. I saw an add in my local paper and thought hey a chance to leave great! I called and the next day I was on a bus to Phoenix. I thought life would be great. I got to the Hotel and thought hey this is neat everybody seems pretty nice. My first day I got a five zing ( I sold five magazines to one person) My crew boss made it seem like I sold a million magazines. I had a good dinner and a good nights sleep. The next day I did sell one magazine. I went back to the hotel and was already having a bad day, my boss took me into her office and began yelling, I started to yell back. when I walked out of the office 25 minutes later I had one black eye and a broken nose. I also left her with a broken nose and one black eye. The next day the same thing, she also took my cell phone - she said that I didn't need it because my parents didn't care. She obviously didn't meet my mom. The next night while out on the streets
I was badly assaulted and raped luckily I passed out on a phoenix police officers front porch. he fixed me up and took me back to the hotel. I told my boss that I was assaulted and raped. she told me that it happens all the time. The next day I was on a bus back home. thank god my life was spared

M

I was out of work and read the "fun travel and make money" help wanted ad. I met with the Rolex wearing suave "manager" in a local motel. He spoke of money and travel. Two things that sound good to any 20 year old kid. My first day on the "Job", I went out with an " Agent" from chicago, not five minutes into the day he sits on a porch and smokes a joint. That should have been the first red flag. These crews are fueled by drugs and alcohol. Our manager would reward success with beer. My "Trainer" was the biggest pot smoker on the crew. The manager would threaten us with his raised fist. He would scream at us if we had not sold enough. Being our own boss and making hunderds of thousands of dollars was held in front of us like a carrot. The only thing that comes from these "Jobs" is empty shells. It has taken me years to heal from the abuse I've suffered. If one kid listens to anything, I would say, These people will only show you the worst in life. GO HOME!!!

A

My significant other and I were needing a job and a way to get out of the city we were living in. We were homeless and penniless. We saw the ad in the paper for "A Cool Travel Job." My significant other had been on a crew before for a week and hated it, but she said they guarentee our way home if we don't like it. We called and talked to this guy we latter called "the keebler elf." He didn't know that we were together, he just said he had to do background checks and call us back. He called us back and said we could be on the way to San Antonio Tx by the next day. We were and when we got to TX we waited in the bus station for 3 hours before getting picked up. Then it took us another 2 hours to get to the hotel. Finally getting there, they found out that we were a couple and they couldn't split us up on different crews. They gave my girlfriend $20 to eat, but forgot to give me any money. The next morning at 8 am we were to go get breakfast. It took us 2 hours just to get breakfast because our driver got lost. Then our managers gave us 30 minutes to get back or else we were going to get 100 off our books. In the rush of things, we ended up getting into a wreck, where everyone was injured but my girlfriend and I. Instead of letting us rest that day, they picked us up from the scene and taking us to change to go to work. They seperated us each day, and tried everything in their power to break us up, because they did not like having couples on crew because there was more of a likelyhood of people leaving together. We stayed on crew for a month before leaving the first time. We were in Baton Rouge, LA where it was raining all day and freezing. We had to work 12 hour days and walk about 6 miles a day in that weather. We couldn't take it so we decided to leave. They took us back to the hotel to pack. Our car handler simply dropped us off, and left. Our managers were not at the hotel, and our keys to our room had been deactivated. We decided to demand our keys be reactivated and go up to our rooms to pack. We waited in our hotel rooms from 12 pm till 6 pm to go to the bus station. When they came back, they loaded our stuff in the back of the "Navi"and took us to the bus station. "Keebler" gave us this lecture about never amounting to anything because we never stick to anything. Finally, we got to the bus station and had to wait another 3 hours for our tickets and bus to leave. When we finally got back to Roswell, we were stuck again, so we decided that we had no other choice but to go back to crew. We called up and they said we'd be able to come back. They sent us tickets to Atlanta GA. We took a 23 hour bus to GA. When we arrived they were supposed to be there, but they forgot we were even comming. Finally they arrived and took us to the hotel, where they seperated us from the get go. Next day we had our normal morning meeting, and off to work. After 12 hours apart, we come back to find out that we were to head out on a SPUR CREW. I was to go on the all girls spur and my girlfriend off to Nashville, TN. Our boss was from Nashville and he was going to take his crew to his parents to go shoot guns and stuff. I cried and felt like going home so soon again because we knew they were trying to break us up. I was gone from my girlfriend of 2 years for 5 days. Finally we got to Nashville and I was so excited to see my girlfriend. Our boss had bought her new glasses and she had her first 10 sale day. By the end of the week she made agent, but I hadn't. We stayed in TN for about 2 weeks. Everyone on crew got along and we were all friends. We occasionally had spats, but nothing too major. The main deal that they cared about was making sales. If you ever came in "blank" or without at least one sale, you got fired.

Everyone tried to get at least one, but one sale didn't pay your bills. The way it was set up was that in your first two weeks they don't charge your books for anything. After your 2 weeks, they give you a 500 dollar bonus. That's when you get 500 dollar start up on your books. Every sale that you made, you got approx. 50% of the "front" which is the amount after the company gets their part. So if your mag costed $53.00 for a one year term and the company gets 45.00 of that, you're left with 8 dollars, which your part is 4. Once you do all the math, if you sell 6, which in terms, pays your bills, then you made 24 dollars in a 12 hour period. Which is the amount you needed to pay for your 10 dollar room charge and the 15 dollars a night they gave you to eat on for that night and the next day. If you don't make enough money, then it gets taken off your books. You are allowed to take anything over 300 dollars off your books, to keep. Also, any cancelation that you have, your charged the amount of the subcription plus 5 dollars. That also gets taken off your books, plus your cancelation print out gets posted on the wall of shame in the manager hotel room for everyone to see. It's humiliating. Then, if you do anything to the managers disliking, he can fine you and take any amount off your books.

They pressured us all to sell so many magazines. They praise you with bonus' and applause when you do well, it makes you want that, because they down you so much when you don't. At one point, I was tired of hearing all the negativity, that I started to make up orders. I would make out phony credit card orders, so I could simply pay my bills every night. While my girlfriend, on the other hand, was selling 10 a day, 6 a drop and so many other wonderful things! . She was able to take 100, 200 sometimes 300 off her books at a time. We managed to save 600 dollars in a month. Our plan was to save as much as we could before we could leave crew again. That's when I got caught on the phony credit card and was fined 200 on my books, which is barely what I had. I basically had 0 on my books, but they didn't fire me because they knew my girlfriend would come with me, and she was bringing them in the most sales.

Finally, we just got tired of being slaves of the head honcho, his fiance who was a psycho puerto rican, and "keebler." They all did nothing all day, but drive around, chill and play video games. We decide to leave, and so did a few other people we knew. We tried to be secret about it, but some people over heard us. So they, the managers, told us that we had 15 minutes to pack everything we could before we had to be out. Plus they refused to drive us to the bus station, because it was only a block away, so we had to carry all our luggage to the bus station in the snowy Columbus, OH weather. Then they refused to give us our bus tickets. I got furious and stated that if they didn't I would call the police. They then processed them. We had 600 dollars to eat and be able to start off back home. They knew this and it upset them. Plus they still had some of our belongings in the room, which they locked us out of. We had so many people, who seemed to love us the morning before, say things like "they should have booted ya'lls asses out last night, in the middle of the night, so no one knew you were gone and couldn't leave with you." They tried to threaten you and intimidate you. Plus, once we left, they never sent us the rest of our money that they owe us. It has been since March of 2004 that we left, and all they have sent us is a holiday picture of the crew in Long Beach California.

J

I WORKED FOR A CLEANER CREW. ALL EVERYBODY DID WAS DRINK AND SMOKE WEED AND I DIDNT MAKE BUT ENOUGH MONEY FOR MAYBE A MEAL FROM MCDONALDS WHICH SUCKED AND IT WAS LIKE A BIG PARTY SCENE AND WHEN I DIDNT LIKE IT AND WANTED TO COME HOME THEY WOULDNT LET ME AND GOT MAD. THEY SAID AFTER A MONTH THEY PAY FOR YOU TO GO HOME THAT WAS A LIE I HAD TO FORK OUT 195 DOLLARS TO GO HOME AND 100 OF IT WAS FOR MY CAB RIDE TO THE BUS STATION IT SUCKED SO I TELL EVERYONE THINK TWICE AND GOOD AND HARD BEFORE DOING THAT

N

My story, well, where to start, i joined a magazine crew because i met this guy waiting at a bus station with my friend, we were going to texas, and he said that we should just go with him, and he asked us if we needed a job, he said that we would make a lot of money,so we decided to go with him, to tacoma washington, from southern oregon.

When we got their we met some of the managers, and got settled. everyone came home from working that night, we met them all, its a long story, to make it short, i worked eight months, fell in love, got heart broken, did a lot of drugs, was abused, in more ways than one, had a misscarage, stranded, ripped off, went to jail for their faults,etc. Everything and more that could happen to anyone person was pretty much compacted into 8 months and i will have to live with it the rest of my life it was a horrible experience.

I have just recently been out, and its just as bad,i dont know if i could say that i regret everything, i think about it all the time, the ending thoughts are never good, it was definitely a page in my life that i will never forget, but my advice to anyone, never ever, join a traveling crew. They are liars, theives, nothing good will come out of it, nothing, i dont really have anything else to say, i would love to tell someone my story, someone who will listen, because no matter how stupid it may seem, being on those crews had really changed my life,, and no one really understands what goes on in them, so, maybe sometime, when i have more time i will write my story,in more detail and you can post it, i think that it will really have an effect on anyones decision to join a magazine crew

G

Was stranded but have recieved transportation thanks to Parent Watch.

I recently lost my job and needed a place to live and some money, so I joined this "rock-n-roll" job I saw in the want ads. this guy sent me bus money to get to Atlanta Ga, where I joined the crew. I worked Atlanta Ga, Monroe LA, and finally Abilene Tx. Which is where I was stranded. my boss left me outside in 30- degrees weather for 3 hrs PAST my pick up time. and when he finally came to get me he cursed me out for not meeting my Quota, keep in mind this is my 2nd week. So he told me to pack my bags. The next day he drops me off at the greyhound station, refuses to buy me a ticket and tells me to find my own way home. I called the Runaway Switchboard and had them help me out to get home. thanks to them and Parent Watch, the police called the company and the manager showed back up at the greyhound station to buy my ticket. But not after he cursed me out and made threats toward my personal safety and my professional career. Pardon my use of language, but this manager is a dickhead and his company is one big scam. He paid for a trip from here to Florida with 11 transfers and the last stop is still 50miles from my house, knowing I only have $4 in my pocket. I will do whatever I can to bring this scumbag down.

A

I STARTED MAG CREW IN AUGUST 2004. I SAW A AD IN THE NEWSPAPER. MY MOM WASN'T HOME,SHE GOT A SURPRISING PHONE CALL TELLING HER I WAS GOING TO TRAVEL THE STATES AND MAKE MONEY. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN THE TRAVELER IN THE FAMILY AND VERY EAGER TO TRAVEL ALONE SO I WASN'T SCARED. I WAS READY!

THEY SCHEDULE A BUS FOR A SATURDAY. I WAS MEETING THEM ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE UNITED STATES IN WORCHESTER,MASS. I'M FROM WASHINGTON SO THAT WAS 4 DAY BUS RIDE. WHEN I ARRIVED I WAS STAYING IN THIS NICE HOTEL.THEN THE CREW CAME IN FROM WORK AND WERE CHECKIN IN.THIS SEEMED LAGIT. MY MANAGER, WHEN HE FIRST SAW ME LOOKED ME UP & DOWN SAYING I COULD MAKE 800 BUCKS A WEEK BASED ON MY LOOKS. THAT MADE ME FEEL OUT OF PLACE. THEN THEY HAD THERE NIGHTLY MEETINGS. TEACHING ME HOW TO LEARN MY FIRST FIVE AND RIP.

THE FIRST COUPLE DAYS I HAD A TRAINER I FOLLOWED TO LEARN THE JOB. SHE WAS NICE. THEY ALWAYS SAY THEY HAD A RULE THIS TWO WEEK PERIOD OF NO FRATNISING WITH THE BOYS OR DRUGS/DRINKING. THATS A LIE CAUSE I WAS DRINKING THE THIRD NIGHT I WAS THERE. I WAS REALLY SCARED TO GET OUT MY TWO WEEKS AFRAID I WAS GOING TO GET RAPED.THEY ALWAYS SAID SEXUAL COMMENTS OR WANTED TO "JUST TOUCH MY BREAST" LIKE IT WAS NOTHING.

EVERYONE DOES DRUGS ON MAG CREW. BUT TO LET YOU KNOW I WAS AND STILL AM 18. WELL WE ALWAYS GOT YELLED AT BY OUR CAR HANDLERS. PEOPLE GOT LEFT ON "T". SOME PEOPLE CAME UP MESSING OR LEFT IN OTHER STATES. PROBALY SNEAKING AWAY WITHOUT THE HUMILATION THE MANAGERS WOULD GIVE THEM.

A

It was fun at first. But the managers were freaks they slept with the mag kids. Thats how some people survive out there. Always was sexual harrasment going on especially towards me. There's this two week period where you don't fraternize so you can focus on business. I was scared of getting raped. They have no respect for women.

K

Well as usual you know it sounds like a perfect thing to do travel, sell mags, and meet new people. but thats not what it really is. i loved it at 1st i was the new girl. they took care of me the 1st 2 weeks i was there, but after that i was fending for myself. it wasnt what they make it out to be.

When i got hired, it was out of "T". so when i went there it looked good when u get hired off of "T" you become a powerful seller. well i guit my job about 10 times the whole long 9 months i was there. but i couldnt even get out of the hotel. they needed me bad even when they say ur replacable. ha yeah right, but so my plan was to wait till christmas so i could get my money off my account, and come back home. i was gonna sneek out and buy a bus ticket. somehow my manager found out and i was really negitive that morning, he was yelling at everyone and shit, but n-e-wayz we were jumping to a diff. hotel. he drops me off @ a hotel???? who knows where??? tells me to find a ride, and my own bus ticket home. bus station was about 45 mins away i got there tho. best believe he bought that bus ticket for me too. mag crew is crazy, sex, drugs, rockandroll, road rules without the camera

C

Basically it all started out as an ad saying "cool travel job". Well, to make a long story short, I decided to do it, and they asked me about some info, like how tall are you, what do you look like, and how outgoing are you, then gave me a conformation number. I got on the bus the next day, then got to Idaho 3 or 4 days later.

Within my first week, people were hyping it up like they were making massive money, but had nothing to show for it. (Obviously something told to do by the manager) Well, just like every other story I had heard out there, we worked long hours, in strange parts of town, not knowing where the hell we were. If cops showed up, we were told basically blow them off and keep selling after they left. After about 12-14 hours, we would go back to the hotel,and we would figure out how much money we made, and what we made for the company. We only got $20 a night, which was taken off our "books", and then more was taken off for the hotel, and we also got "fined" when we were late for meetings, or if we didnt sing a crew song, or even if we didnt tell them what they wanted to hear. We went to Idaho, Las Vegas, New Mexico, Washington, Arizona. It has been 3 months since I have worked for this company. They claim the money I made is still on the "books", and they will send it out when they feel like it. That is NOT an exaggeration, those are exact words. Using the way they figure things out, I have figured out that I should have at least 500 or 600 dollars coming my way. Let's see if anything does. I pulled about $6,000 dollars total off the streets in about two months, not subtracting commission or ANYTHING. Six grand, by just going up to people's doors and making them like me. I feel bad for anyone who falls for this:
"COOL TRAVEL JOB.MAKE LOTS OF $$,TRAVEL.TRAVEL AND LODGING PAID FOR.$500 SIGNON BONUS.1-800-WE-RIP-U-OFF" Oh, and by the way, the signon bonus is what they use to get you there, and pay for your first two weeks of "paid training". Good luck to anybody who decides to pursue this route. You are going to need it.

D

I hate where I live because theres no Jobs. One day I was looking in the paper and saw this ad that caught my eye so I replied to it as a joke really. I went to it and I was hired on the spot I had 2 in a half hours to pack my stuff up and say my goodbyes. When my parents dropped me off I got in a car with the guy who hired me and left for Chicago. He told me what I would be doing and also assured me if I wanted to go home or needed to go home I would be able to so I was alright with it of course.

When I got to the hotel in Chicago I met everyone it was cool the next day I was on "T" with another girl who had been there for three months. I loved it for the first month in a half because everyone was awsome. Then my "car handler" started being a jerk, I have actually seen him pull girls out of the car telling them to get back on "T". I also saw him pull males out of the van and push them around till they fell. I can honestly say I only sold as many as I did because I was terrified of my car handler and boss. after two months of this I told my boss I wanted to go home he said okay go pack your stuff so I did. He had someone else take me to the bus station at midnight and leave me after they bought the ticket I was at the bus station for 12 hours waiting for my bus.

H

My experience with a mag crew is both positive and negative. I started when I was 17 and my boyfriend had left to travel with this crew. He called me and said he missed me and wanted me with him. Little did I know they (management) paid him to recruit me. They split us up almost immediately.

I met the recruiter at a fast food restaurant while my parents hesitantly let me go to "travel for the summer." The Jr. manager that drove me on the hop to Texas was sweet and taught me a lot. She "stemmed" or picked up orders at gas stations and I was amazed at how she could sell like that. My first couple of days were interesting. You said things that you didn't know you couldn't say, talked about things you weren't allowed to talk about and the older agents instructed you as to what you could and couldn't do. For example, you could not talk about your families or friends back home. Their reason, you might make someone sad and then they wouldn't be able to focus while on "T" or territory they were working. Another example was not being allowed to go anywhere alone or being able to call your family unsupervised. This I was told was for my own safety or to protect me from my family who might bring me down.

I quickly became the top sales agent on my crew, never coming in without quota for the week. I was making a lot of cash and also money on the books. I ate at convenience stores and fast food all over the country and started smoking. Where you went, when you ate, where you slept was decided for you. Everything was decided for you and all the time you were told you finally were free and in charge of your own life.

I remember a lot of "Joneses" I met and their interesting ways of life. I met a Polygamist in Utah and talked to his multiple wives as to how they lived. I had a couple of really dangerous experiences also, one that almost caused me to "fold" or quit. I had gone up to the door on this long country stretch and found an old man inside. I thought he was a grandfather by the toys in his front yard. He was not. He locked the door behind me and the turned back on the video he was watching. It was pornography. He started trying to get me to watch it with him while I kept trying to give him my pitch. I was scared. I broke through his screen door and ran from the house while he chased me with a shot gun. I ran down the road and then through the woods. I could hear him looking for me. After a while I got up and went to find the other agent who was working back towards me on this country road. When we were picked up by the car handler, I told him what had happened. ! I was told not to tell anyone else and that he would take care of it. About 3 of the guys went to the old man's house and I can only imagine what they did to him. I didn't want to know. Come to find out this guy was the town pedophile.

After this happened I was really upset. I wanted to leave and wasn't allowed. After those kind of experiences I couldn't sell, I was sick and scared. They would put you under a 24/7 watch, which means there was an agent assigned to you 24 hours a day/ 7 days a week until you were back to normal or "got your head out of you a**". It would have been fine if they were there to support you, but most of the older agents were abusive "for your own good." I learned that you can't beat them, so you might as well join them. It only took a couple of days for me to get my head straight and back to the top I went.

A couple other incidents remain significant to me... a drive-by shooting in Compton where I had been dropped off the day the welfare checks came in. And also while knocking doors at around 9pm one night, I found two little girls crying and scared, they didn't know what was wrong with their dad. I came in to find him not breathing and called the paramedics. He had had a heart attack.

Soon after joining the mag crew, I became a trainer and an older agent and later a car handler. It's hard not to take out the pressure you are under on a newer agent. You are responsible for their training and for "putting them across in the business." If they don't do well or are weak, you push them until they fold. I saw kids beaten up, left on the side of the road. Agents would also get in fights with "the Jones" all of the time. Then we would all be picked up by the police for not having a permit and put into a holding cell and picked up by management later. I had a fake ID and media credentials.

Your status on the road is measured by your quota. You don't sell, you sit in the back, sleep on the floor and have barely enough money to eat. You sell, you are treated with respect, could have car privileges, were allowed to party. I went to the fights in Vegas at Caesars, spent my 18th birthday in Tijuana, Mexico. They bought me clothes, jewelry, took us out to nice dinners, etc. I met really interesting people. I saw the most beautiful cities, the desert, the mountains. I saw most of the country on foot, the way most tourists never see it. I enjoyed that. We even had a crew house in San Diego. We would always come back to the crew house and it was like a reunion. The crew was your family.

The focus was always on positive thinking and the chain of commands. Drugs were not a part of our crew whatsoever. We weren't even allowed to take aspirin. We were brainwashed by long sales meetings that lasted until the middle of the night and then had to get up early and sell for 12 hours a day. It became an obsession with getting quota. It was so stressful at times that I would literally pull out my hair and smack myself.

The longer I was on the road, the more I was exposed to. I found out the my manager, whom I looked up to, was sleeping with some of the girls. Luckily he never attempted this with me and the other ones he saw as daughters. He had wives and ex-wives, alias' and a lot of children of all ages. When you are new to the crew, everything is kept secret. We even had our own language. You begin to see everyone in the world as an outsider who wouldn't understand your way of thinking. The crew was your family and you saw people or "Mr. and Mrs. Jones" as nothing more than targets. We laughed at those "stupid" people who had the white picket fence, the 2.5 kids and the dog. We didn't want to be anything like them. They were inferior to us, our way of life and we used them. This way of thinking along with motivation and control by fear is what keeps most people in.

Also, the way they spoke of "folded" agents made you never want to be one. It was drilled in your head, they were pieces of sh*t who would never amount to anything in their life, while we were going to have our own crews one day and be rich. Group think ruled the crew. You were scared to not agree with everyone else, so you faked it.

Finally while betting horses in Vegas one day, another agent told me he wanted to fold. They were forcing him to marry a Jr. manager because management had decided they were a good match. They had also decided this with me when I first joined and had instructed an older agent to "put me across in the biz." Basically make this girl feel special and tell her you want to build a life together and be managers together. Again, everything was decided for you, while you were busy thinking you were in control of your own life.

Of course you were never allowed to show any public affection and other agents could not know who your boyfriend or girlfriend was because sometimes we were told to flirt with newer agents and make them feel special so they would have a really big day, sales wise. Sick, I know... Also we had a saying "out of sight, out of mind" which meant you were not to think about anything in the past or anybody you were not with at the time. People would just disappear randomly and you were not allowed to ask about them, the answer was always the same "out of sight, out of mind..." And as soon as management realized you were "with" someone, unless it was a management instructed match, they split you up for good. You maybe saw them occasionally when we hopped in to the crew house, but you never knew until we got there if that's where we were going. Then if both of you had your quota in for the week, your significant other could ask management if you could "Plan X"! or leave in the middle of the night with the other couples and sleep in your own hotel room with your partner and then return early enough so the other agents didn't miss you.

At times there was physical and mental abuse, I will say that it taught me respect for authority and made me stronger. I was very lucky that nothing bad happened to me and I was able to sell magazines by my childlike enthusiasm and nothing more. We did have some fun times living like a weird sort of Brady Bunch, but all in all I wouldn't want my children in this environment. I was really close to the other agents and "folding" was a really hard, depressing time as I had to get used to being alone and not with 20 "family" members everywhere I went. Even today being alone is often a struggle.

Luckily when I folded I had the other agent with me and if it weren't for him who knows how I would have gotten out. He had been there a lot longer and knew what to do. I didn't get all of my stuff or any of my money on the books, but I was glad to be out. Of course at first you wonder if you did the right thing, but if you go back they would have moved us to another crew and I didn't want that. Also, once you decide to leave it is amazing how you cannot sell anymore. I would have come in "blank," or with no sales, if I hadn't folded that day and that would have been a first for me.

That's my story. I have been out for 9 years and am 28. Have 2 kids and am a mortgage broker. I always buy magazines from the people that come by, because I swore that if I ever got out I would never say no to them. Everyone thinks you are just a kid in a contest, no one has any idea how much depends on your sales and in a lot of cases your safety. Finally I felt writing this would give me closure to this chapter of my life. I miss some of the agents I met and regret some things that I did and things that were done to me. I am happy for some of the experiences I did have. I learned a lot. It changed my life.